As I blogged in my previous post on being addicted to self-help, there IS life after letting go of the need to constantly improve yourself. And it does not mean becoming insensitive, stingy, or unloving.

The need to improve yourself is based, at the deepest level, on believing you are not good enough right now, just as you are. So recovery from self-help-ism requires 2 simple, but radical shifts that lead to living life from a place of trust and acceptance:

1.     The first shift is from self-doubt to trust in the Universe and trust in yourself.  Trust in the Universe to bring you exactly what you need to grow when you need it and trust in yourself to recognize it and to know what to do without books, etc.  Please hear me – you do NOT need any more information, or need to better understand, or need to learn anything else to create change in your life.  Most true transformation is about letting go, not acquiring.

2.     The second shift is from self-judgment to self-acceptance. As long as you approach life believing that you need to improve yourself to be loved, accepted, and approved, you create suffering and place yourself at the mercy of others.  You also project that sense of lack onto others and end up judging them too – which creates more of what you DON”T want.When you begin to accept yourself, you begin to accept others, and that’s when true transformation occurs – for you AND others.

So how to effect these 2 shifts?  Again, simple, but radical.  Instead of focusing on what you need to improve, shift your attention and focus to what IS, without judgment.  You have a reaction?  Simply watch it without judgment, noticing the thoughts that go through your head, the emotions your thoughts produce, how the reaction feels in your body, with no attempt to change anything.  Shifting your approach to being the WITNESS of your inner state is the biggest step you can take toward transformation.  It allows what IS to be,and when you stop resisting what IS, well that’s when true change occurs spontaneously.  Over time you’ll notice you react to less, and you’ll see the consequences of your reactions and easily drop the negativity as you become more and more conscious. 

This is Self-Help Recovery 101, and plenty to keep most of us busy for years!  If you want the masters level Self-Help Recovery program, I invite you to explore the process of Inquiry which is explained in other blog posts and on my website.

Until then, think of the money you’ll save on books andtapes!