Driving Me Crazy
So today I went to take my medical exam to get my Brazilian Driver’s License. This is the last of the bureaucracy (that I know of) that I need to take care of to live in Brazil. If you are asking why you need a medical exam for a drivers’ license in Brazil, then you clearly are not aware of the industry that is medical exams here. You need a medical exam for most things you want to do to live here: get a job, join a gym, get a driver’s license, go to college….the list is long!
I recently had to go through a medical exam to be hired by the gym where I’ll teach Zumba and hopefully Nia. This exam was a joke. The doctor basically examined my questionnaire and sent me on my way (of course after I waited an hour to meet with her).
So today, I was expecting more of the same. I was relieved when I arrived at the clinic and there was no one in front of me in line. The friendly receptionist took all my documents (this list is long too!), and had me sign at least 8 different sheets of paper (which I would soon discover were the separate parts of the exam.) She then led me to another room where she handed me a test. A TEST?!?! No one told me there was a test! It basically had 40 pages of symbols, and on each page I was to choose the correct symbol to complete the puzzle.
Crap! I was already exhausted, having not slept well due to thunderstorms and too many glasses of wine while out with my friend Courtney. Now I was expected to complete what turned out to be several different intelligence tests. At first, the answers were easy, but I soon discovered the puzzles became progressively harder. By question #27 I found myself flipping through the remaining questions in bewilderment. How did this apply to getting a drivers license???
When I finally completed my puzzle test, a nice lady who turned out to be the psychologist came in and gave me another kind of puzzle to keep me busy while she graded my first one. In this test, I had to look at a set of symbols and go through about 50 rows marking all the symbols that were the same as the originals. This time she only gave me 5 minutes!
Thank god for yoga – my concentration allowed me to complete this test in 4 minutes. Then, because I think she just wanted to challenge me, she gave me a harder one, saying, “You only have 4 minutes to finish this one.” On this page were various road signs with numbers between 1 – 50 and I had to sequentially mark each number in order. Luckily, my concentration won again and I impressed her by finishing in less than 4 minutes.
By this time I think she just wanted to study me, so she took me to another room where she began conversing with me, asking me questions about my diet, my hobbies, my education, my profession (all in Portuguese, mind you.) How nice! I thought, hoping we were going to finish soon. Then I noticed that she was making notes on another sheet I had signed, and I realized that she was INTERVIEWING me to determine my mental state! This wasn’t a nice conversation! This was an evaluation!
During my interview we discovered that we actually have a lot in common, and she began telling me about her daughter who dances ballet and went to New York. We compared detox diets and our favorite smoothie recipes. I’m pretty sure this was not part of the exam.
Then, having disarmed me, she administered a set of bizarre tests of my hand/eye coordination, making me replicate a variety of different lines while she blocked my view of my hand. She claimed that she could discern from this test whether a person was depressed or anxious. She told me I did well, although she carefully hid the results from me.
Then she told me to go upstairs to see the doctor. By this time, quite honestly, I was expecting to receive a gynecological exam. Luckily the doctor only asked me a few questions, took my blood pressure, and tested my vision. He sent me back downstairs with my results, which were verified and I was finally sent on my way, AFTER 2.5 HOURS OF TESTING THERE!
After I walked out the door, I realized I was completely exhausted – both from speaking Portuguese the entire time and from being unexpectedly and rigorously tested in so many areas. I couldn’t believe what I’d just been through – something akin to being tested to be a Federal Agent, I imagined. But at least it made for a great blog!!
Posted by Stephanie at Wednesday, August 31, 2011 6:56 PM 
Categories: Life in Brazil
Tags: Brazil driving Sao Paulo driving test
Categories: Life in Brazil
Tags: Brazil driving Sao Paulo driving test
OMG...I confess this just has me laughing my ass off! Poor Stephie - sheesh, what a pain you had to endure AND in Portugese no less!!! I agree, I think you have to be a little crazy to drive there. AND live there!! Kudos to you that you are rolling with the punches so great! Love ya - Melanie
Reply to this
Makes going to the DMV with all my original Birth certificate, passport, all my visa stuff, and a gas bill to prove that I lived in the US seem like childs play compared to this! It made me smile.
Reply to this
Well, I DID have to take all those documents with me as well.....
And now I am asked today to make sure that this clinic, which is CERTIFIED by the Brazilian DMV, actually completed my exam with the correct signatures and my picture!!!! Crazy!!!
Reply to this