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Top 5 Reasons to White Belt in Sao Paulo in November

Stephanie — Thu, 24 May 2012 19:04:35 GMT

Of course ANY Nia White Belt training is awesome, and a great way to change your life profoundly in just 7 days (whether or not you want to teach), but I personally think that there is a very special one coming up November 14-20, 2012 in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Okay, so I think it’s special because I’m hosting it. After careful consideration, however, I am offering what I think are the top 5 reasons why you should come to Sao Paulo to do (or re-do) your White Belt:

Location – Brazil is HOT, HOT, HOT right now and Sao Paulo is the center of everything. In November it’s springtime, which means not too hot, not too much rain which equals great weather. Disclaimer! It’s also unpredictable, so I cannot make any guarantees! But the chances are good that you’ll see the sun and be able to wear short sleeves, and probably be able to go the beach. Oh yeah, did I mention that some of Brazil’s BEST beaches are within 2 hours of Sao Paulo? You might need to stay a few extra days….(which just happen to be Thanksgiving.)
Exchange Rate – the US Dollar is strong right now, the best it’s been since we moved here. That means you definitely get more for your money when you shop for the lovely bikinis and shoes here. Disclaimer! Sao Paulo is still expensive, overall, but I’ve tried to make up for that by opening my home to visitors during the White Belt (see reason #3 below.)
Free Place to Stay – Our home is open to attendees until the beds are full (first come, first served.) Our lovely home here is spacious, very safe, and features a beautiful pool and hammocks waiting for you! I am planning to offer massages and other options for guests during the training. Pictures of Chez Cirihal here for you to check out.
Trainer – the incomparable Kelle Rae Oien will lead this training. In my opinion she is both a great Nia teacher AND trainer, and an experience with her is not to be missed! She teaches and trains from the heart, with generosity and discipline. AND she does it in English and Portuguese!
Studio – The charming Lembu-Kan Sports martial arts room is ours for the 7 days. It has beautiful old wood floors, and shoes have never touched them. The gym has an organic luncheonette downstairs with fresh juices, smoothies, and sandwiches made to order. Within 1 block of the gym there is a cute bakery, a Brazilian food lunch place, and a sushi restaurant! What more could you ask for?

If you have been considering this first level of taking your Nia practice deeper, dive in! Let us make your experience unforgettable. More details here.

Please feel free to contact either Kelle or I with questions.

Why Should I Care About Awakening?

Stephanie — Sat, 05 May 2012 13:39:06 GMT

I'm going to answer this question with my own story and a Ted Talk video by Dr. Brene Brown. First, in this funny, touching, and profound Ted Talk, Dr. Brene Brown shares the conclusions on her research into our sense of connection with others. Don't skip it - it's worth the time!

Dr. Brown experienced an awakening through a collapse of some of her fundamental beliefs about the way the world works. And, according to her, she also got her life back. I experienced a similar "breakdown / spiritual awakening," although much less painful, which I will share in an upcoming blog.

But what I know for sure, which coincides with Dr. Brown's research and experience, is that a sense of connection, love, and belonging are essential to a joyful life. I spent many years hiding my true self from my husband, and it almost cost us our marriage. I spent most of life more worried about the image of who I thought I was than who I really was. When ultimately, through an awakening experience, I was able to let all that go, I became vulnerable. I began to experience a deep sense of aliveness and connection to everyone and to something greater than us all. I stopped numbing my emotions and experiences and began to live more authentically. I changed and my life changed.

That's the essence of what I share with others: the possibility and experience of awakening. Of experiencing, even if just for a moment, joy, unbounded possibility, and deep connection. Of knowing that something else exists, something grounded always in the present moment, to which we all belong.

Stay tuned to the next blog in this series which explains more about what awakening experiences are.

The Top 5 Things I’m SO HAPPY I Brought in My Container

Stephanie — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 00:09:14 GMT

The flip side of the things I wish I’d hoarded are the things I’m SO GLAD to have brought with me. Life here in Sao Paulo is difficult and complicated enough without having to fix/replace poor quality appliances:

U.S. washer and dryer – it was a complete pain in the ass installing them here (my husband basically had to do it), but it was SO worth it to have large capacity capability, Kenmore reliability, and all the options!
U.S. dishwasher – let’s face it, in general any appliance from the U.S. beats any appliance bought in Brazil. Again, SO happy to have my American dishwasher, although again my husband had to install it (he’s quite handy!)
Sunscreen – Thank God for my hoarder husband, who brought with us at least a 1-year supply. Sunscreen is OUTRAGEOUSLY expensive – like a tiny bottle of SPF 50 for around $40. Our giant-ass bottle from Wal-Mart was $7.
Water Filter – I am addicted to super high quality water, and I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with Sao Paulo water, but I’m also not taking any chances. I’m pretty sure we have the best water in the city – my husband brought a reverse osmosis unit and put it in our kitchen. It was a huge pain in the ass to install (worse than the washer and dryer), but now that I have it I’m not sure I’d want to live without it.
Electric Blanket – Didn’t think I’d need it in the tropics, however last June/July/August there were several days that I did NOT want to leave the warmth of my bed in the morning. Our bed is definitely the warmest place in the house in the winter.

Guest Blog: Inspired by the Nia 52 Moves Training...

Stephanie — Mon, 09 Apr 2012 17:20:16 GMT

This week I asked fellow Nia teacher Jean Jambas to share her powerful experience of why the new Nia 52 Moves Training was so magical for her....

It sure has taken me a long time to approach this email. Truly, the training was a game changer for me and as you know, what comes up for each individual at a training is seldom what one thinks will come up. Let me see how I can describe the training without ruining the delight and surprise. This training appears to me to be the key to unlocking all of our potential as sacred athletes whether or not we choose to teach the 52 Moves in the manner described during the weekend. Essentially, it is interval training and conditioning using Nia. Isn't that brilliant? When Debbie described how the training was going to be run, the future plan for it and how it evolved, I must admit my head said, "I can't do this," but my heart said, "What if."

As Nia teachers, we are brilliant at teaching what we sense, seeking pleasure and creating a movement experience that is totally in the moment for our students. What if we could also provide an athletic class that includes interval training to up the conditioning to a whole new level while maintaining the awareness and playful aspect of a classic Nia class? To put it another way, imagine a classic Nia class. Fun, right? Now, imagine taking the class to the playground for a day so they can test their edges with speed or strength.....games that make kids reappear with twinkly eyes. That's what the 52 Moves is. I walked into that first class thinking, "I can't," and as Kevin ver Eecke led the class, I realized that this was, of course, still Nia and I was in control of my own body's movements. After that first exhilarating class, I had a few tears because after almost 2 years of adrenal challenges, I was totally flabbergasted that I did it.

I must say that I loved the homework. The written more than the movement because it was the invitation to be still after a few years of "have tos". That being said, the more important part of the pre-training is the movement but it was all good.

Another thing that I adored during the training was all of the trainers' eyeballs on us as we moved. What a luxury to have several NGTs (Next Generation Trainers) moving through the space and coaching us each in his or her own way. They were splendid in how unobtrusive they were and the coaching didn't feel even slightly critical. The coaching was simple statements of what is and what should be. I learned more about my right leg turning out too much which I knew but I also learned that my left foot doesn't do much of a heel lead due to some healing injuries. So much clarity on what these building blocks of Nia movement are and aren't. I've heard a couple descriptions of the training as delicious or yummy. I would describe it more now as exciting and thrilling. It's the difference between the White Belt being a Romantic movie and the 52 Moves being an Adventure movie. I don't want to reveal much more as the training is evolving as we speak. I was in the first group so while what other trainees experience will be as wonderful and exhilarating, it will be a slightly different format so I don't want to create expectations.

What took me so long to write to you? It has been those "hidden benefits" that we have come to expect from Nia Intensives and Trainings. While the 52 Moves is, indeed, about interval training and conditioning, it is also the building blocks of a system of movement, Nia. We consider it the foundation, the order. Have you ever noticed when an intention for something, order let's say, is created, all those things that signify "not that" show up? I came home to a really big can of "whoop ass" clarity. I call it being bitch slapped by the moment. I mean no disrespect to the phrase "smelling the moment." My phrase means that moment when one thing makes you think of another or the moment when you realize that it all changes from here and it stops you dead in your tracks. For me, there is usually some Kleenex and yelling involved.

I am a master at surfing chaos. No really, I am. For 11 years, our family has had one major upheaval after another without much recovery time in between. Thus, I have been in the Nia world for around 15 years, haven't taught a lot and will just be getting my Blue Belt this summer. That being said, Nia has always been with me even when I wasn't dancing....like now.

What I realized after coming home from the training is that I simply cannot fly without order and simplicity. We moved into this house 10 years ago and never finished painting or fully unpacking because we didn't know what was going to happen next. We never know where anything is. The house is a big old farmhouse with very little storage space. If I am going to go out and present myself to the world, I do not want the base for my sacred livelihood to be chaos; my heart and soul are screaming for order. So while my other 52 Moves buddies are teaching one 52 Moves class per week and dancing a lot, I am nesting, not teaching or dancing much and creating my center of the storm, my diva den, my home. I often joke on FB about living in Manland but it is up to me to claim my space here and show my son what calm and order look like. This isn't just for me; our son was too small to remember our other home. I have had to muster up some big doses of self-compassion which I just couldn't do until a good friend sat me down and itemized what all had happened over those 11 years.

Ultimately, I feel and think the 52 Moves training will bring me peace. Peace at home because now that I've been reminded what order looks and feels like, I will recreate it here. Also, it will eventually provide me with peace again on the dance floor as my body feels the rightness and joy in what I'm doing.

There, that's it....as clear as I can paint it without taking away the surprise for those considering the training.

xxxooo,

Jean

The REAL Brazilian...

Stephanie — Mon, 02 Apr 2012 14:34:38 GMT

I admit I am not one to suffer much for beauty. Truth be told, I am not one to suffer much for anything. But since purchasing my first Brazilian bikini (hey, when in Rome!) I have decided that to be able to actually wear it might require some hair removal intervention.

So I began with interviewing all my friends, who strangely have strong opinions on how best to remove unwanted hair THERE. Finally, one of my friends here talked me into going with her. One of my other friends, a bikini wax connoisseur told us where to go in Sao Paulo.

Mistake number one: no drinking or pain relievers beforehand.

When we arrive to Emilia Borges we are led to a small room with a gynecological-like bed, minus the stirrups. I insist that my friend stay with me so that I can squeeze her hand if it hurts too much, and to do translation if necessary. She asks me if I want her to go first, but I know if I watch, I’ll chicken out, so I decide to go first.

Good choice number one.

Renata, our therapist comes in and I tell her in Portuguese to please be gentle as it’s my first time. She tells me she’s been doing this for 19 years!!! Here in Brazil, they use wax from bees, and no paper, which I’m told is MUCH better than how it is usually done in the U.S.

So I lie back on the table and try to relax. Since it’s my first time I am told it will take longer and will hurt more than if I keep up with it and stop shaving (I am pretty sure that is just a marketing ploy). So Renata slathers a HUGE amount of hot wax on me, which of course I was not expecting. I don’t know - I guess I thought it would be like eyebrows, with little pieces of wax.

I also thought that one rip and each side would be done, but I was wrong about that too. Apparently they have to slather and rip MULTIPLE times on the same spot to remove all the hair.

So, things are going along pretty much as I expected, and then I feel hot wax where I did NOT expect to feel it. By then of course, it’s too late – RIP!!! Then, actually the worst part – she begins using tweezers to clean up the hair that did not exit with the multiple wax applications!

In case you are wondering, a REAL Brazilian is not totally bald. They leave a little patch of hair right on top, for decoration I suppose, or to prevent you from completely looking like a 9-year old girl. Nowhere else is there hair, labia included.

Then, she tells me to turn over to do the “parte atras,” the part behind. What!?! I ask my friend if I’ve heard correctly, and she assures me I want to do it. NO I DON’T!!! I argue that no one sees this, so why should I bother to remove the hair in between my butt cheeks!! She says, “You do this for you.” No. No I don’t.

Good choice number two - I politely decline this to Renata, who assures me with a smile on her face that I will return wanting it next time.

I am supposed to receive a calming chamomile oil to soothe my skin, but apparently Renata believes I need a stronger intervention, so she brings back paper towels dipped in ice water to soothe my skin. Over the next 5 hours my skin swells and reddens to the point that it’s uncomfortable to sit down, wear underwear, and unfortunately to have sex.

In 24 hours I am recovered and able to fully experience my Brazilian. From the bikini perspective, I get it. It is nice to wear my bikini with no worries. But outside of that, it feels strange to me. I actually FEEL like a 9-year old girl, which honestly kind of freaks me out.

So, in the end, it was just an experiment for me and I decide that I’ll go back to managing my own hair removal, which is a challenge here as well. Apparently all the women here wax or use other methods of hair removal because it is nearly impossible to find a women’s razor and shaving cream.

Great - yet another thing to import….

Year 1 in Sao Paulo - A Self-Assessment

Stephanie — Sat, 24 Mar 2012 17:54:25 GMT

We have been here exactly a year now, and I decided to assess my time here, both in terms of my adjustment to living here and my enjoyment.

First things first – before I left the U.S. I promised myself that I would take a step back from life and use our move as an opportunity to create some space in my life and see what unfolded.

I did not do that.

Instead, when we arrived I employed my lifelong strategy of jumping in, feet first – into learning the language, finding classes to teach-basically re-creating my life in Michigan. That kept me busy for about 6 months, but then I hit the WALL. Maybe all expats hit the WALL at some time or another, I don’t know, but I hit the cultural WALL after being here about 8 months. Meaning I finally realized that THINGS ARE VERY DIFFERENT HERE AND FRUSTRATE THE HELL OUT OF ME!

Being very optimistic, I just surmounted the myriad of obstacles I faced in re-creating my life here, until I just couldn’t anymore. Then I cried. Then I ranted (which you know if you read this blog.) Finally I relented and let go of ALL expectations and stopped trying. I made peace with the possibility that I may not make REAL friends here, and I may not get to teach here or be part of a meaningful community. I started going to the beach by myself, and found a yoga class that I love, and let go of trying to find places to teach. I decided to just be myself and drop anything that didn’t bring me joy. I let go of fear of not connecting with others here, and re-discovered the joy of being with myself.

One month later, stuff started to happen. It finally started to unfold for me – teaching opportunities, potential new friendships. On a happiness scale of 1-10, I’d rate myself a 7. On a peace scale, I’d say I’m a 9, which is WAY more important to me.

What would I do differently? I don’t believe in mistakes, and am not sure there is any EASY/ELEGANT way to transition to such a different culture, but I would have given myself the space that I intended to in the beginning. It’s scary to contemplate moving somewhere new and not having any friends or anything to do, but my lesson was that it is harder still to force things ahead of their time.

The Top 5 Things I Wish I'd Hoarded in My Container

Stephanie — Thu, 15 Mar 2012 17:36:05 GMT

There are many things (okay not many, but definitely some) that I prefer here in Sao Paulo, but sometimes you just need the version from home. Here’s my rather silly and shallow list of the things I’d wished I’d stocked up on before packing my container to move here:

Peanut Butter – yes, it exists here but clearly no one has tried it because it is awful, sickly sweet and does not taste like peanut butter at all. My husband and I were forced to ration (and bicker about) our stock until he brought more back from the U.S.
Mac ‘n’ Cheese – I love the food here, but sometimes you just need a taste of home. Unfortunately that means something processed in a completely unnatural color, but hey!
Space Heaters – it gets SO cold in my house here without central heat, so I was finally forced to go buy local heaters. Of course, I was also forced to return them twice before finding ones that actually functioned.
Toilet paper – you laugh, but did we notice the day our American stock of TP ran out? Yes we did. A sad day.
Trash Can Liners – the ones here have no fancy closing mechanisms and don’t fit U.S. cans – which makes me ask, why are all the trash cans here in Sao Paulo SO TINY?

When Food IS Love

Stephanie — Sun, 04 Mar 2012 22:31:20 GMT

An acquaintance of mine was sharing that for her to heal her eating disorder she needed to realize that food is NOT love. That stuck with me, as I too have eaten for reasons other than hunger (to calm anxiety, overcome boredom, etc.) But I realized that living in Brazil has changed my relationship to food dramatically.

As you may remember, my husband and I did the CLEAN program last summer (blogs here.) Because of that program, I was forced to think about how I prepare my food differently (especially in a new city/culture). And I became a LOT more aware of not only how I prepared it, but also where it came from.

So what I’ve discovered here in Sao Paulo, as I’ve shared before, is the feira, or street market (blog here.) But what I didn’t share is my transformation with my relationship to food that has occurred because of the feira.

For the first time in my life, I can tell the difference between food that is ALIVE and food that is DEAD. I am shocked at the difference, but if you come visit me, I’ll show you that it exists. The food here in Sao Paulo (especially from the feira, but also from many of the restaurants) is ALIVE and it TASTES COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!

For example, I purchased chicken from the supermarkets here and from the feira and prepared them the same way. The feira chicken had a completely different texture and taste than the supermarket chicken – more flavor, juice, and color. I began to notice that difference with everything I bought from the feira – eggs, vegetables, fruit, nuts. All of it tasted better than its supermarket cousin, and very different than the same thing in the U.S.

Additionally, when you go to a restaurant here they don’t cook your meal until you order it, unlike many chain restaurants in the U.S. where they basically just heat up something that was cooked previously and preserved.

Preserved is the key word here. Here in Brazil, there are very little preservatives used (right now – I can see the U.S. trend of convenience arriving and it makes me sad.) When I buy something, it goes bad in days, which can be a little frustrating, but well worth it I think in terms of what I gain in nutrients.

Which makes returning to the U.S. and eating difficult for me now. I can actually tell the difference – my body CRAVES more nutrients when I eat in the U.S. and the food tastes DEAD to me (overall – of course there are exceptions). This includes organic – I can still tell the difference between U.S. organic and Brazil non-organic, surprisingly.

So in Brazil I can say that food IS love for me because it feels like an act of love to feed my body the highest quality nutrients that it loves and needs. AND, more importantly, I have discovered that I actually prefer freshly prepared fruits and vegetables much more than I do in the U.S. Overall, I believe I eat MUCH healthier here. I noticed that I used to like a LOT of variety - making new recipes, etc. - but here I mostly eat smoothies and chicken, vegetables, and rice daily. And I am not bored.

In case you are fascinated by this concept, here’s an interesting blog from Fearless Eating that discerns between real “food” versus “groceries” and what he sees as the problems with Weight Watchers…very provocative!

Enlightened... Or NOT!

Stephanie — Thu, 01 Mar 2012 14:26:23 GMT

Has anyone else seen the new show on HBO - "Enlightened" ?

I am hooked. It just finished its first season, and I must say I was both amused and embarrassed. I WAS that girl, and although I am afraid to admit, in some ways I probably still am....

Basically Laura Dern plays a woman returning from an New Age center after had a major meltdown at work. Technically they can't fire her, but she is placed in a low end, basement job with other losers from her company. She has seen the light and wants everyone else too as well. So she begins trying to "enlighten" everyone around her, including her resistant ex-husband played by one of the Owen brothers (the one without the crooked nose). She is annoying, irritating, sad, funny, and we get to watch her painful transformation from fake "enlightened" (I know what's best for you) towards something more real.

At least that's my take on it. It resonated for me because I too have wanted to save everyone around me and I too believed I knew what everyone needed to be enlightened. That is until I met Byron Katie...

Here is an article on why HBO should renew it for a second season, that will give you a better glimpse into the show.

There's a lot of crap on TV, but this is not, in my opinion.

Living in The Shallows...

Stephanie — Sun, 19 Feb 2012 18:51:16 GMT

As mentioned in my earlier post on Silence, I recently read the book, "The Shallows: What the Internet is Doing to Our Brain," by Nicholas Carr. It was fascinating!

The author himself noticed that the more time he spent working on his computer, the less he was able to concentrate on any one thing in general. He set out to see if there was science to support his own experience, and the book is the result.

Basically he found that the way we receive and process information actually CHANGES our neural networks, effectively changing our ABILITY to process information. So, the less we use deep reading and contemplation, the less we are able to do it in the long term. Trends show that we are becoming more shallow in our efforts to communicate (can anyone say text?), research, and absorb info (think USA Today vs. NY Times).

After reading this, I am much more aware of how I receive and process information and the importance for me to take electronic retreats sometimes to alleviate the sometimes compulsive urge to get online, on Facebook, etc.

He was featured on NPR discussing his research for the book - here's the 7-minute fascinating interview....

Hot Music Finds...

Stephanie — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 11:48:05 GMT

I have finally reached a place in my Nia practice where I feel excited and confident about choreographing my own music. In large part this is due to both my Zumba teaching (where I have to choreograph my own warmups and cooldowns) and my experience with Nia Trainer Kelle Rae Oien while she was here in Brazil (her gift for matching music to movement is extraordinary!).

I have already played with swapping Nia songs and Zumba songs, with varied results. I am now playing with choreographing my own music, which is a BLAST! So far, I have mostly focused on iTunes shopping sprees, and have been fascinated by all the sources of new music that I have discovered, like

Grae New York Blog

And

SoundCloud

And of course, movies and TV shows, like the soundtrack from "Breaking Dawn," the Twilight movie and the soundtrack from "How to Make it In America."

So, anyway here's a couple of the songs I am playing with right now...

Levels by Avicii - goes well I think to adapted choreo from "City of Lights" from Nia R1

"Joy - LoveJoy Vocal Mix" by Staxx - been playing with putting this to "Summertime" choreo from the Nia Butterfly routine

Zumba and Nia in My Life

Stephanie — Sun, 05 Feb 2012 22:56:58 GMT

As you know, I finally made peace with Zumba (read my earlier blog). I have been teaching it for about seven months here in Sao Paulo, and have been doing it since I moved here a year ago. My experience with Nia is much deeper, however, I have just started teaching it again here in Sao Paulo. So I have had a chance to live with mostly Zumba in my life and can now compare it to living with mostly Nia in my life. Please note that I tend to teach a more athletic version of both Zumba and Nia. I have made some very interesting observations and conclusions (FOR ME!):

I think I need Nia in my life to balance out the Zumba. Zumba to me feels very YANG, and a whole hour of Yang is hard on my body, mind, emotions, and spirit.
Teaching Zumba, I definitely have had more injuries than I ever did teaching Nia.
Teaching Zumba, I burn WAY more calories than I ever did teaching Nia.
After a Zumba class, I am amped up – like after a party or a club. It’s hard for me to go to sleep! After Nia, I am calm and centered. Like after church.
Sometimes when I don’t feel energetic, I wonder how I am going to muster the energy to teach a Zumba class. I never felt this way with Nia – I always knew I could show up and teach from wherever I was. I think Zumba has a performance or entertainment factor that Nia does not.
My feet definitely prefer being barefoot.
Overall, the Zumba music makes me want to dance more. I love the variety and getting my groove on. The Nia music, while beautiful, does not have enough variety of beats and sounds for my personal taste (so far).
In my limited experience so far, people here in Sao Paulo prefer Zumba over Nia, and they are not familiar with either. This is both in a gym setting and in a wellness center setting.
I have concluded that I am NOT a fitness instructor – or rather, that is not my goal.

I learned all this by approaching my teaching AS a fitness instructor, and have now realized that that’s NOT what I am. I think I am more of a spiritual teacher that uses movement, stillness, and conversation to create profound experiences for people to awaken their consciousness. I feel I can better accomplish this with Nia than Zumba. That’s not to say I am giving up Zumba (I also believe in the value of meeting people where they are, and Zumba seems to be where more people are!) – but for my own joy, I have decided to limit how much Zumba I teach and focus more on Nia.

Why I Love to Shop at the Feira

Stephanie — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 13:21:30 GMT

There are many things that have surprised me living in Sao Paulo and the weekly feira, or street market, is one of them. After months of doing my grocery shopping at local grocery stores (and always leaving dis-satisfied), I decided to try my neighborhood feira.

Luckily, my feira is close, and small (the large ones are too loud, crowded, and big for me). The first thing that struck me was the beautiful presentation of the fruits and vegetables. As my husband would attest, I’m not normally a huge fan of fresh veggies, but these called to me – they were art!

I quickly learned to build relationships with my vegetable lady and fruit guy – for they could not only choose the perfect pieces for me (say, depending on when I wanted to eat it), but also would send me home with “brindes,” or free pieces to try. There’s the lime guy, the banana guy, the egg guy, the coconut guy, and the chicken guy.

At first, I walked straight past the meats, afraid of the thought of eating something that has sat out all day. But I finally caved and purchased some chicken one day, and it was the tastiest meat I have ever eaten in my life. Juicy. Bursting with flavor. Then, slowly, I kept migrating my purchases to the feira – eggs, biscoitos de povilho (Brazilian version of chips), trash bags – until I only go to the grocery store now for the things I can’t buy at the feira (milk, water, bread).

And also, speaking of food, one of my favorite things to eat in the world resides at the feira – pastel. These luscious little fried pockets contain ooey-gooey cheese, and at my feira such delicacies as arugula, bacon, and cheddar or broccoli, parmesan, and bacon. Topped with hot sauce and the homemade cole slaw/pico de gallo mix they call vinagrete, there is nothing more sublime.

But maybe even more important than the quality of the food at the feira, is the atmosphere. People are friendly, it doesn’t feel rushed, and well, the guys all yell “Hey, Beautiful!” at me. Of course, they do it to every woman, but my ego really enjoys it nonetheless.

Especially from the parking guy, who shakes me down for a couple of Reais to park on the street (which is free, by the way), and who carries my heavy load for me as he asks me where I’m from, tells me how beautiful I am, and how awesome the U.S. is. I am a sucker, I know it, but at this point paid kindness is still kindness.

The Beach Companion

Stephanie — Fri, 27 Jan 2012 14:50:38 GMT

I just returned from 3 days alone at the beach on the northern coast of Sao Paulo state in Brazil (pictures here). It was just the break from the city, and my life that I needed to “let the mud settle” as they say. No TV, no radio, no phone – only me and some Eckhart Tolle meditations to keep me company.

Until my last day at the beach. I settled into my beach chair and umbrella on the beautiful and as yet uncrowded, space on the beach. I was listening to a meditation, when suddenly I felt something licking my hand. Startled, I opened my eyes and saw a dog gently lick my hand, and then lay down in the shade created by my umbrella. It was as if he was asking my permission to share my shade. At first unsettled, I soon realized that he was hurting nothing by laying there, so I let him share my space with me.

He laid there with me all day, sleeping. He was not a cute pooch by any means – mangy and not terribly skinny but not cute either. He seemed exhausted, and didn’t even stir when I carefully got up to go into the ocean for a short swim. Keeping an eye on him while I was in the water, I secretly hoped he would not leave because I was not there, and that no one would bother him there (stray dogs are not treated very kindly here, in general).

When I became hungry in the afternoon I got up to go to the beach kiosk to get something to eat, and bought both of us hot dogs and a fried pastel with cheese to share. When I told the woman at the kiosk that I was taking one of the hot dogs back for him, at first she laughed at me, and then she asked me if I thought he’d want mustard and ketchup on his. We decided that plain was probably better, and she ended up bringing a glass of water back for him to my spot because I couldn’t carry it all myself.

It turns out that he was hungry, but much thirstier. After I made 2 more trips back to refill his water glass, he and I were both finally able to relax again. He very carefully took each bite I offered him (rather than let his food land in the sand). He seemed much more alert then, after eating and drinking.

Such a gentle creature; I gently pet his head and told him he was a good boy.

By this time, we were becoming something of a spectacle. The guy from the kiosk where I had purchased the food came over to ask me if I needed anything else, and I asked for 1 more cup of water for my dog friend. When he returned a few minutes later, he carried with him a bowl of water AND a whole tin bowl of food with beans, rice, and chicken and set it down in front of the dog, who began to gingerly eat it. I thanked him and he told me that he knew this dog and he used to be bigger and beautiful before his life on the street. Then a nearby family on the beach sent over their leftovers for the dog to eat as well.

By this time, I was crying. Here, I was experiencing something that I had yet to experience in my time here in Brazil – the kindness of strangers. In that moment I realized that I had somehow lost my faith in humanity since moving here and that the dog was my spiritual teacher, showing me the potential goodness of humans. I happened to have my Animal Medicine cards with me, and I looked up the meaning of dog medicine. The power of dog medicine is to give, despite the lack of returned kindness or response from others. According to the text, even when beaten or mis-treated, the dog returns, only seeking to serve and to be loved. It does this not out of stupidity, but from a deep and compassionate understanding of human shortcomings.

Ahhh…. that seemed to be MY lesson. Compassion and understanding toward human shortcomings. That has been in short supply for me lately, and I miss it.

So, as it turns out, the dog gave more to me than I to him. By taking the risk to reach out to me, he re-ignited other people's generosity, as well as my own. At the end of the day, apparently refreshed and rested, the dog arose, stretched and with one last look at me, trotted off down the beach.

Into Great Silence

Stephanie — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 12:02:52 GMT

In times of agitation or feeling unsettled, I have learned to retreat....into silence. So this week I will spend some days in silence. I do this when I have lost myself in the world, in the things of form, in order to re-connect with stillness and peace, and find my clarity.

I have done this retreat several times in my life, but not since moving to Sao Paulo. This city, it seems, is challenging for even thinking about it. But at this moment I now have the opportunity with less classes and the house to myself for a few days.

What prompted or reminded me to do this was an article I read in the NY Times recently called, "The Joy of Quiet." I was completely fascinated by the studies mentioned in the article on how much information we consume and how it's actually changing our brains and the way think. So fascinated that I bought the book, "The Shallows" mentioned in the article to learn more. (More about the book in a later blog.)

In the article, he mentions that the more we have to connect, the more desperate we are to unplug. Is it true? Are we desperate to unplug? I don't see that. As an introvert, I naturally resist connecting, but it seems to me that many are addicted to being "connected," and maybe don't even realize it.

So, this week I will dis-connect - from phone, TV, internet, conversations - anything that distracts me from my inner voice and my ability to listen to it. I'll let you know what waits on the other side....

Reaching Out

Stephanie — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:20:45 GMT

It seems my lesson this week is about reaching out. In my lesson a couple of days ago in “The Book of Awakening,” there was a parable about the spider and the sage. In it, a wise old man sees a spider struggling in the water and rescues him, placing him safely back on the earth. Just as he is releasing the spider, it bites him. The next day, the man again sees the spider struggling, again rescues him, and again the spider bites him. After the third time this has happened, the spider finally asks the man, “Why do you keep saving me? Can’t you see that I will bite you every time because it’s what I do?” The sage answers him, “Because it’s what I do.”

The lesson is that although there are many reasons to reach out in kindness, the most compelling is that it is our spiritual nature. Which I understand conceptually. But it is not my experience right now. After having been bitten several times recently, I unlike the wise sage, feel like withdrawing from picking any spiders up. I have lost contact, temporarily, with my nature to reach out in kindness. Sometimes it feels as if reaching out is a mistake.

Is it?

The lesson in the book says that the reaching out is more important than the bite. The author says he’d rather be fooled than not believe. Deep in my heart I know the same is true for me - that I can’t and wouldn’t want to change my optimistic, see what’s good in people nature. It is my nature too. However, I don't think it wise to keep picking up the same spider that has bitten me before. Isn't there another parable about that????

So then, what is my lesson? Maybe it’s about forgiveness and acceptance of others exactly as they are, bites and all. Maybe it's about learning whom to trust and forgiving the rest. Maybe it's about looking at my expectations and lowering them, at least here in Sao Paulo.

Returning Home

Stephanie — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 14:15:52 GMT

During times of agitation, like I am experiencing now, I feel unsettled and I don’t like it. I find myself looking for ways to avoid the discomfort of not knowing how to change my life to return to joy and peace. I am not patient. Mostly my mind tends to strategize, to play out different scenarios to see if any would be better than what I am currently doing – should I cancel ALL my classes and spend a month at the beach? What if I stopped teaching Zumba and only taught Nia? Maybe I should only teach close to my house so I am not dealing with traffic every day? You get the picture.

So I was on the Eckhart Tolle website and watched a video by another teacher there, Kim Eng. And she talked about agitation in a way that really resonated and comforted me. She said that agitation – the definition of which is to stir things up – occurs for a reason. It’s part of the process that leads to clarity, but often we want so much to escape the discomfort of it, that we don’t let it do its work. We are fearful of this discomfort because we project it into the future and believe that we will always feel this way.

So true for me. It’s so hard for me to remember that agitation is a state, a temporary state. I just know that I don’t like not knowing, so I often make any decision rather than just allowing myself to feel agitated. She encourages us to just watch the agitation inside us, rather than identifying with it. Immediately I felt better when I could do this.

She then shared that deep within each of us, the very core of us, is peace. I know this place well. This place is home, she said, and our lives are simply a continuous process of leaving and returning to home.

Home.

For me, this is both literal and symbolic. We all know what home feels like – the place we live that feels safe, comfortable, and beautiful. Sometimes I feel like I just want to stay in my home and never leave, especially here in Sao Paulo. At home, I am buffered from all the things that frustrate and hurt me. But I know on a deep level that staying home forever is not possible. I have to leave even if just to re-stock the shelves of the pantry. It’s funny, because I have often contemplated becoming a hermit, thinking I would enjoy it. And maybe I would.

But maybe the purpose of my life IS to leave home and return home. To the home within myself-that place of stillness and peace; I now know I cannot dwell there forever either. Life pulls me out of it, and when I experience stress and frustration then I know it’s time to return home. Sometimes returning home is only a deep breath or Nia practice away, and sometimes it’s weeks of agitation. Either way the destination is the same, and I have made the journey once more. Who knows? Maybe someday I will learn to enjoy the journey rather than resist it.

Stepping Through the Threshold of 2012

Stephanie — Tue, 03 Jan 2012 14:00:22 GMT

Now that I am back home in Sao Paulo, I have resumed my morning ritual of reflection, and have been contemplating a lesson from “The Book of Awakening” for January 2^nd. In it a story is shared about a man who is hell bent on painting his studio; he mixes the paint, gathers the materials he needs, and goes to his studio. As he approaches the doorway, he realizes that with 2 cans of paint in his hands, brush in his mouth, drop cloth under his arm that he can’t open the door. In his stubbornness to put anything down, he tries to open the door with his foot, and ends up falling and spilling his paint, and of course dropping everything anyway.

The lesson asks us to consider putting down what we are carrying to be able to open the next door. It seems I am offered the opportunity to do this time and time again – to put down everything to open the door and then pick up only what is needed to move forward. And often, like now, I fail to do this and try to bring it all with me anyway. Since I have recently found myself laying on the ground, with everything scattered around me, I am asking myself, “What do I need to take with me to go through this door?”

I actually DID put everything down when I moved back to Michigan from California. And I had the opportunity to ask myself this when we first moved to Sao Paulo. But stubbornly I wanted to HURRY and teach Zumba, HURRY and get a life, HURRY and meet people. And I missed an opportunity to contemplate the threshold and take only what I needed.

So here I am.

Since it’s the beginning of the New Year, I am taking this new opportunity to ask and LISTEN to what the answer is – “What do I need to take with me to go through this door?” I’ll let you know what I discover….

Warning! This Is a Rant....

Stephanie — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 22:15:36 GMT

When something happens once, it’s an occurrence. Twice, my radar goes up. Three times – it’s now a pattern. And I am certainly noticing a pattern here about UN-dependability in general. Actually, this is the most frustrating thing about my life here in Sao Paulo right now.

I don’t think I am normally sensitive to people being undependable – I usually avoid them as soon as I figure out that they are. But here, I would be a hermit if I did that. More than the “Te ligo” syndrome where people say they will call you and they don’t, un-dependability here is taken to a new level. I have seldom made plans with someone here that they didn’t postpone or cancel. Seriously. Often more than once. And a lot of the time, it just never ends up happening at all.

It happens to me almost every day. This week alone (alright, one of the worst) I had 3 postponements of lunches or coffees (some for the second time!), and 2 different people canceled on me after having committed to teach my Zumba classes while I am in the U.S.!

I really didn’t think I was sensitive to the imperfections of people, but I am seriously fed up right now. I honestly think that it is culturally acceptable here in Sao Paulo (can only speak from my experience here) to commit to something and then just cancel, change your mind, get a better offer, etc. Clearly we have different definitions of commitment operating.

What is my lesson here? To learn to only depend on myself? I’ve already been there, and I really prefer collaborating, supporting, lifting each other up. But honestly, it’s just not happening here. Makes becoming a hermit look pretty good….

P.S. Okay, after my massage, I feel much better. But I am still sharing this because it is the truth of my experience right now. It isn't pretty, or enlightened, but it's true.

Friends in Low Places...

Stephanie — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 13:33:44 GMT

I seem to be in a learning space about friendship recently (and not the fun kind of learning, either). I have been struggling to make new REAL friends (vs. nice acquaintances) since moving to Sao Paulo, which has had me pondering the whole concept of friendship.

What I am learning about myself so far – I don’t need many true friends, but feel very loyal and want to feel deeply connected to the ones I have. I want to be able to truly let my hair down, answer the door in pajamas, and share my deepest secrets (yes, I do have a couple). It’s not easy for me to make true friends, because I am in truth an introvert, which means I’d prefer to be sought out rather than to seek. It feels like a lot of WORK to form a new friendship, kind of like dating, and to be honest, I am kind of tired of trying right now. But if I don’t try, I feel alone in this big, big city.

I’ve also learned that I have deeply imbedded in me one of the first things we learn in Nia training: being impeccable with our words. Unfortunately for me, that principle is almost non-existent in the Sao Paulo culture, where “Eu te ligo” or “I’ll call you” is basically a meaningless expression. In my world, “I’ll call you” means that I will indeed call you. I have embraced this Nia principle in my life, and didn’t realize until I moved to Sao Paulo that I also value it in others. I have been disappointed SO many times here, by both Brazilians and Expats who have apparently embraced the culture here, where saying you’ll do something doesn’t mean you’ll do it. So, I have chosen to surround myself with a few people that I can count on, which I know limits me, but honestly I just don’t want to live my life any other way.

So I find myself now in a place of having acquaintances, and possibly some budding friendships after being here almost 9 months. Most days I’m okay with it, and some days I just need to call my mom and cry. This too shall pass…